Sunday, October 21, 2007

milk, cookies, home runs and Monopoly


It's really sad to note the attitudes and paradigms through which Christianity portrays life. If I were to take Christianity at its word, I should rightfully expect my life to take on surreal successes of unfathomable proportions.

The widespread message today is that God is this loving, compassionate Guy, and all He thinks about is being sweet to me and giving me milk and cookies. Accordingly, I can expect to see gluttonous excesses become the norm in my life. Tell me you likewise have not heard (and perhaps even bought into) this message.

It seems the core premise of this is: if you will come to God then He will love you, and the evidence of Him loving you will be continual, drop-your-jaw, miraculous success and favor in human circumstances.

This is a really slick, ear-tickling sell. It's preposterous, yet the zeal and blindness with which millions of people cling to this false reality is stunning.

If I were to believe the magnitude with which this message is preached to me, I have every right to expect that every time my kid swings a baseball bat they are going to hit a home run. If I become a Follower, I have every right to think that every time my kid touches a soccer ball with their foot the ball is going to go into the goal.

Would you look around at the messages you see the voices of Christianity vocalizing today, and tell me if you likewise do not see this as the case?

As my merry life rolls along, why, because I am a "child of God" He wants me to go directly to Go and collect $200. I will own Broadway and Park Place, and it will be "God's will" that everybody land on my properties and my cupboard will overflow with insane abundance.

If I take the outlandish claims of churches at face value, you would think by the way they talk that the business I own will skyrocket upward, or if I am an employee that every customer or project I'm involved with will become the benchmark pinnacle around which all other business of the company will forever be compared to.

This is a really slick ploy.

It's a really cunning way to try and get people to come to God. These people are promising people that if they will come to Him that in turn they can expect their life to become the equivalent of winning the lottery. You'll have money. You'll be able to do all kinds of things. You'll have relationships beyond your wildest dreams. You'll be on the right side of the tracks. And, of course, this is what God wants for you because...HE LOVES YOU. What's really sad about this is the mind-blowing arrogance with which Christians hold unswervingly to this premise.

The day you realize God's love does not hinge upon favorable human circumstances will be a great day for you, friend.

The day you quit letting the Church inject its "God just wants to be nice to you" Kool Aid into your veins will be an even better day than that. And the day you're totally detoxed from this Kool Aid will be an even better day than that.

This goochy-goo message is not anywhere in the words of Jesus, and I'm really sorry you have been sold this snake oil. I'm even sorrier if you are selling it to others.

In spite of this, there are a few droplets of water trickling into this paradigm wasteland. God is beginning to chink holes in this Hoover Dam of Christianity. He's authoring things that are dismantling these coddling mindsets.

If you got into Christianity, or are associated with it now, on the foundational premise you just want God to be nice to you, do Him and us a favor and leave. Seriously. If you think this whole thing revolves around God answering your prayers, go do something else. You are shitting on Jesus' blood, infecting it and contaminating it with me-on-the-throne, tail-wags-the-dog self indulgence. Even worse, you're misrepresenting the Way.

So please, just leave. And take your milk, cookies and Monopoly game pieces with you.

2 comments:

MJ said...

These people don't realize that by "marketing God" as the fairy tale prince of our dreams who has come to whisk us away to happilyeverafterland that they are implying that the real God isn't good enough on his own, without the ploys and the incentive program....Don't tell people that they need to die to get life...who's gonna wanna buy that? Dying is no fun at all. See it's all about people buying your concept of God and everyone is vying to win people...there is no vying with the real God. The real God has no competition that he needs to beat out. If you represent the real God, you really shouldn't be trying to peddle your beliefs at all. It's an indignity to who and what he is. You know what I think is really awesome? Loving God even when he gives you liver and onions. But no one wants to put the "liver and onions" God on a billboard...oh well, more liver and onions for me, I guess. LOL.

John Three Thirty said...

I am personally very tired of this whole "positive God" stuff going around.

Lemmings who embrace this paradigm have never read the book they claim to love, believe and follow so much.