the facade of fortune and blessing

"When the Lord shall restore the fortunes of His people, then Jacob shall rejoice and Israel shall be glad." (Psalm 14)

How many of us spend time and energy trying to artificially create and restore our own fortunes and the fortunes of other people?

How often is this veiled behind "encouragement" and other emotionally whored words?

How many among us are prophets?

Has God told us about the fortunes of others among us?

Would you care to elaborate on the vague and arbitrary term "things will get better"?

Sounds so wise, doesn't it? So comforting. So encouraging. So uplifting. So inspiring.

I can read that shit in a fortune cookie insert, or on an astrology website.

Or hear it in a sermon.

today's thought

Too many people, I think, throw pearls before pigs.

So much trampling.

So much pain.

So much bludgeoning.

So unnecessary.

the path

Imagine if everything you've ever learned and been taught, for years and years, your whole life even, turned out to be a big fat lie.

From your farthest back recollection of words, what you've been told (and are still largely being told) is the truth...is not.

Imagine grappling with the idea that you have been hoodwinked by the hoodwink above all other hoodwinks.

And what turns up is that none of what you see or know is actually true.

While this takes place, the things you've regarded most valuable are ripped or stolen from you, and take chunks of flesh as the ripping occurs.

As you begin to discuss this with other people, it's as if you're talking Greek, or Chinese, or whatever colloqialism stands for the deer in the headlights look.

But wait, some people only give you blank stares. This is only partially frustrating and annoying.

The real kicker comes when people start telling you that what you're experiencing is not real.

Well, some tell you it's not real. Others tell you to ignore it.

not what you hear today

You are considered blessed by God (spiritually, not physically or circumstantially) when your spirit is broken and you are poor.

When you are emptied, when you are done, when you are beyond bleeding.

When there is no pulse. When there is no heartbeat.

When you are dead.

This is when you are blessed by God.

the selfish blind

One of the things I thought of earlier today..

PMA "believers" are self-centered and narcissistic.

Any time you hear someone say "let Jesus lift you up out of your circumstances" what they are really saying is:

"Oh, no. The circumstance you have just told me about is not positive. It contradicts my paradigm about life, that everything is to be positive and blessed, which is as God wants it. Surely this negative, unpleasant thing is something Jesus wants to remove or replace with something positive, so let Him do so. Your situation brings discomfort to me, so help me out here by letting this become something else."

Someone else's pain, someone else's hurt, someone else's shithole, someone else's train wreck would dare to ruffle a PMA idiot's perfect little world they are trying to cocoon themselves into.

But it doesn't stop here! They selfishly go around spitting their positive-cocoon mucus on other people to try and spin the same protectionism for them.

So break out the name of Jesus, to take people out of circumstances God is using to break and bring death within them.

It's the "let Jesus lift you" approach, or otherwise it's "rebuke satan out of your circumstances" mode.

The sad thing is the percentage of people who fall for this garbage, or are too "nice" to put their foot down on this bullshit.

If there was ever a definition of barking up the wrong tree, or poking things with a stick, or taking blind stabs in the dark, God's "finest" are at it around the clock, courtesy of one of the most popular gospels in the Body, the PMA Gospel.

And to call this for what it is is like a fish fighting against water.

unceremoniously beautiful

This is one of the most beautiful things I have read.

It's beautiful in its simplicity.

It's beautiful in its non-glamour.

At its essence it is the Way.


And it does not surprise at all the Body is wrought with excusitis about doing what Jesus says his followers will do.

I wonder what most Churchians think the Way is.

"reading the Word"? "praying"? "worshipping the Lord"?

From what I'm seeing, a slew of people think these things are the Way.

The Way seems to largely (exclusively?) be about building ourselves up "in the faith".

Survey says?

Bullshit!

This self-absorbing crock has got to go.

This story shouts reinforcement that churchianity is about gain, increase and attainment, while the Way is release, divestment and giving.

I think the gal who wrote this post about Haiti is overly conciliatory and gracious to excuse-making "Christians". Much more so than Jesus himself.

From what I'm unlearning (and learning anew) about Jesus, I think He scathes the sloughing of this lackadaisacal excusitis out of the mouth.

Not everyone is "led" to Haiti. Yet I see Jesus being more like this:

J: "okay, not to Haiti, fine. What are you doing?"

person: "um, I've been in the Word a lot more recently."

J: "uh huh."

person: "And I've been praying a lot more. You know, talking to Father. He's really been blessing me a lot. I've been telling Him how thankful I am."

J: "mm hmm."

person: "Worship has been so meaningful lately. I've really been experiencing God! It's been so awesome! He is so awesome!"

J: "yeah. What are you doing?"

person: "I'm growing in the Lord."

Do you think at this point Jesus'd just shake His head while saying "depart from Me"?

Think He'd light into them like He does the 'learned' God-people who claim to know God yet hem-haw about tangibly helping anyone?

Think He'd take their day-planner, which would show Him how 'busy' they are, and rip it in pieces?

Or would He just glance down at their day-planner for a few seconds, then look them in the eye for a few more, then walk away and say nothing?

Would He bend down and scribble something in the sand?

Something else?


There's no glamour in the beauty of the Haiti visit. There are no kudos from society (except for feel-good blurbs on the news if the trip was at Thanksgiving or Christmas).

I think about how many people in the city I live in go to church, and then on the heels of that wonder how many unvisited people are in hospitals and reclused in their homes today, tomorrow...

I wonder how many people in this city go to bed hungry each night.


Anyway, this story from Haiti is so beautiful.

Churchianity is so ugly.

And I don't think Jesus is resonantly quiet about it.

the Comfort Gospel

It is somewhat mind boggling (and somewhat not) how obsessed the Body is with comfort and convenience as it pertains to the Way.

It is very common to see churches state things such as "if there's anything we can do to make your visit with us more enjoyable (or comfortable, or pleasant, etc), please let us know".

Whatever they can message to market their church, their members or their environment as cozy and appeasing, they do.

I can't remember the last time I saw a handout or website that didn't shout this from the roof tops.

I don't see Jesus saying anything about comfort or convenience.

On the other hand I see where He went up on a mountain, and the lame and crippled had to somehow get up the mountain to be with Him. Interesting how they were healed up there.

Someone close to me is so obsessed with comfort at the moment that it might end up killing them, literally, within the next six to twelve months.

i really don't understand this whole comfort thing.

today's thought

Susie, you raised a good one.

He is blood with my blood, and spirit with my spirit.

He is plugged into the Vine.

And from the Vine is Life.

Regarding me, he has done what few would do and what none others have done.

He's your son. He's my brother.

And so I'm thinking of you today.


"A friend loves at all times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity"
Proverbs 17:17

bears, part II

So, we talked about bears. What they truly are, versus what they are perceived to be in artificial and skewed environments.

That’s too bad.

But wait! Here comes mankind!

Mankind has put their own spin, their own twist, to help understand and gain knowledge about what bears are.

Unfortunately, not everyone pitched in on mankind’s portrayal of bears.

And so we’re left with this picture. It is what mankind has determined bears are.

Some folks are/were disinterested, or dispassionate, or dis-something talking about bears.

Therefore, what you see here is what you're supposed to get.

Notice the contrast between the previous post’s bear and the one here.

The bear in the previous post was ferocious, beautiful and terrible.

Bears, as mankind has ended up portraying them, are sweet and precious and soft and wonderful and warm and loving and forgiving and embraceable and approachable and cuddly and fuzzy and soft and nonviolent and passive and…

Bears as humans describe them are not fierce, or imposing, or terrible, or passionate, or any of the powerful qualities quite noticeable about real bears.

Bears are never portrayed as bloody or bold.

Or crucified.

They’re portrayed as pristine, and perfect, in an exclusively warm fuzzy kind of way.

So we are now in a quandary.

Bears are what they are, yet most of the ways humans see and perceive and talk about bears is strangely different.

They’re misconstrued by how they’re viewed through artificial environments and media.

And they’re misconstrued by how mankind has decided to portray them.

These are sad portrayals of bears. And yet so few know (or care about?) the difference.

Very few travel to where bears can be seen as they are. To do so is dangerous, unpredictable.

Some would even say unsafe.

Very few people pursue anything up that alley.

It’s much safer, simpler and more stable to stick with the cuddly, warm, safe (and skewed) concept of bears.

And yet there remain other folks.

Some forage into the unknown, outside of buildings, away from what society has handed and told them, regardless of what they’ve heard or previously experienced with bears.

Some zoo goers or bear watchers encounter a series of life events which leads to conflict. They know what they’ve been told about bears, but something just does not resonate.

This generally happens when folks find themselves in the wilderness.

Not by their choice, of course. They’d lived a life of the cuddly variety, and rather enjoyed seeing and viewing bears this way.

Interestingly, those who are in the wild are still able to communicate with those who go to teddy bear shops, watch cuddly bear cartoons, listen to cutesy bear radio, and/or sit around talking about how cuddly and sweet bears are.

The conversations are quite awkward.

It's not that baby bears don't have the docile characteristics, but is that all bears are?

bears

Bears are ferocious, beautiful and terrible all at the same time.

This is a bear.

We rarely see them outside of zoos or on a movie or TV screen, yet seeing them this way is not to see them as they are.

To see them reduced, entrapped or sedated is not getting a real sense or real picture of bears.

When we see them in a watered-down, artificial environment we have a distorted concept of the nature and personality of bears. We humans largely see bears in a skewed and safe environment.

Because of this, we feel we are superior to bears. We have this snubby, prideful sense of dominance over them.

We attribute this to our profound intellect, and mankind's ability to use logic and invention and technology to gain the upper hand over bears.

If we were to encounter bears as they truly are, in a real (not artificialized) environment, and without the trappings of technology and man-made stuff, we would have a much different view of bears.

Our view of bears is warped by the trappings of "civilized" society.

We don't need bears.

They are not part of our daily life. We are immunized from their existence/impact upon us.

They may be ferocious and terrible, but we don't have to be concerned about that.

the same yesterday, today and forever

Last weekend my four year-old and I went to the mall.

We found a spot near the store we were to go in, and she climbed up through the front seat to get out of my driver door.

Things were going as usual, and as I began to close the door behind her for some unknown reason she hesitated from her gait toward the back of the car.

The next second and a half went by in slow motion.

As I saw the hesitation, my gaze was shifting from watching her to watching where the car door would close behind her. In the middle of the change of view, I heard the car door's "chunk" closing sound.

I simultaneously began to hear the cry as my eyes saw the driver door fully closed (no cracks or ajarness whatsoever) and my daughter's finger only partially visible outside the airtight, shut door.

I know it hurt like hell, and opened the door as soon as I could get to it.

I picked her up and then looked at her hand. It just so happened the side I saw first was the side the door had closed on (the non-palm side).

It was not bleeding, but the skin was heavily indented in a weird configuration. The skin was solidly compressed halfway through to the palm side of her hand in a quasi figure-8 shape, as if drawn by a two year-old. Kind of circular, but with other lines and shapes blended in.

I was amazed skin so deeply compressed that far through the finger was not bleeding.

The door had squished and imprinted this side, and though not bleeding it looked ugly, awkward...painful. There was no doubt from the wailing that it hurt immensely.

The palm side of the finger had a thin cut where the outermost phalange (?, section of finger) met the second phalange from the end. It was bleeding very slightly (on the surface, not dripping), the skin broken just enough to bring out the red stuff.

My heart then split in two directions.

Comforting my daughter as much as humanly and compassionately possible being one of them.

As for the other...there is a song I heard some months ago called Cry Out to Jesus. That's a very weak description of the fierceness and depth with which I called out to the Man about what had just happened.

I was humanly aware of the possibility of a broken finger, and I was keeping alert for the ongoing reactions of my daughter to see if that was a possibility to address.

At the same time, I was leaning on the Man as ferociously as I did when the rusty nail impaled my foot a few months ago, which I blogged about here.

I had picked my daughter up, and was holding her in one arm while my other arm both hugged her to me and also was cupped over her hand which she held close to her body.

My heart was laid out bare on her behalf.

For what must have been three solid minutes I must have simply called out for Jesus to help us, just saying it with my heart and lips over and over and over.

Initially we were by the car, and at some point during those few minutes we began to walk toward the mall as she continued to cry and as I continued to cry out to the Man.

As we neared the door to the mall and the crying started to subsist from wailing, I decided to check how the finger looked.

I was surprised, and not surprised.

The back (non-palm) side of her finger, the side which had been closer to the slamming door, where the skin had been compressed half way through toward her palm, was spotless.

No indentation whatsoever.

No redness. No swelling.

No marks of any kind.

No hint at all of the weird configuration the completely closed door had left on half of her left ring finger.

Her finger was as flesh-colored and normal appearing as all her fingers.

The mild cut on the palm side, along her phalange joint, was still cut but the blood was not oozing out. It was staying put, visible at the surface but not going anywhere.

My daughter was still crying, of course. We had stayed by my car until wail had subsided to cry, and even these several minutes later she was still crying and somewhat upset.

I knew that if the finger had been (or remained) broken that the pain would still be cause for a wail these several minutes later. And she would have repeatedly been saying "Daddy, my finger hurts, my finger hurts".

Her comments were about her finger having been caught in the door, not about continued pain.


It's very probable the mild cut on the palm side will heal completely and not scar at all.

I wish, though, that it would scar.

To be a lasting reminder of the Man's touch and compassion in that hour.

God and family

God does not look at family like Americans do.

Read something recently where a guy said part of his Personal Mission Statement (yeah, you can see where this is going real quick) he wishes to be a "Christian Family Man".

Buddy, you don't even know what you're saying.

What you meant to say is your ambition is to be a Family Man as somewhat moral Americans define Family Man.

You have no intention to be a Christian Family Man as Jesus talks about family.

To live as Jesus talks about family would shatter a lot of American churchianity "Christians".

Not many want to digest Jesus regarding family.

why

Some things just won't go away.

There is no shortage of rock-staresque preachers here and there. Some raising $20 million to fund a set of private jets (mission accomplished, by the way). Others soaking up the tv prestige of a "successful" ministry. (Ministry by whose standards?)

But wait, here comes a new Movement in the United States! It appears to be called Emergent, or the Emergent Church. People who have waxed tired and empty of traditional churchianity and all the dung of what is portrayed as the Way.

So what does one of the Emergents' more well-known guys do?

What else? He goes on a nationwide tour!

Going to the biggest cities with the brightest lights.

Charging $10 per head to come hear him talk.

He'll probably be introduced by popular Christians in each city's limelight: a local radio personality, a "big name" local preacher, etc.

When he's introduced the words will be full of praise and adoration and walk-on-water aura...about and for him.

They'll probably be selling t-shirts for $20 each. Long sleeve cotton tees will sell for $30.

The books he's written will be for sale.

• sigh •

The guy's got good things to say. Just why all this other stuff?

Some things just can't stop. I guess.

Even within this Emergent movement there is name-dropping, "in" people, etc.

"Have you read so-n-so's book?" "Did you hear so-n-so is going on tour?"

Is this just an American thing, that every group (even those who don't wish to be like other groups) thinks it must engage in this crap?

Societally-agnostic living.

Societally agnostic Following.

What a concept.

recent ponderings

why do Followers have any interest in material attainment, when the way to Life is to give one's self away?

why all the talk about providing or giving justice to the wronged, instead of becoming one with them in their brokenness?

why all the focus on growth and increase, instead of just going out and feeding some hungry folks less than three miles away?

why all the focus on blood, when family is not defined by blood?

why do Followers think things must always be getting better, or always positive, in life? They must have a different bible than I have. The one I read seems to have a lot of ebbing in life, even for those in God.

People who are like this must have really shallow faith. That must be why I get so steamed when they approach me to ask if my life is "better".

If our existence is gauged by our circumstances alone, then damn the irony of having less than ideal circumstances when we go around telling others we're "fine" all the time.

Sometimes circumstances are so strong that's all we can see. We don't care to hear about anything else. We don't care to be fake.

When life is like this, we crave the freedom to be transparent. And we hunger for others to be transparent as well.

We want to express what is really and rawly in our heart. We don't want restrictions or codes or guidelines put on us at times like this.

Some of us will even steer clear of those who aren't transparent in times like this.

••••••••

I've realized what some of the frustration from the past seven months has stemmed from. More on that later, in its own post.