it's over, everyone

break out your ladders and hammers and take down your Nativity sets.

Get that dainty mouse-squeak out of your voice.

You can stop pondering how nice you should be to people during this "season".

Stop acting.

You don't have to do this for ten and a half more months. It's okay, you can stop. No one's looking anymore.

Oh, wait. You still carry this through two more days, so you can put that same ridiculous, cheery expression on your face to express some nonsense about the flip of the calendar.

(If you think this is harsh, answer this question: why do people mindlessly do and say what society, and church, tell them to?)

What are you going to do? Wish people their "best year ever" in 2007? Are you going to pseudo-spiritualize it and tell people that is your prayer for them? Oh, that is so sweet...

How come no one wishes others that God puts them through the ringer in the coming year?

How come no one wishes hardship, difficulty and pain, which are God's fingerprints upon people that they are real and not bastardized children of His? (Hebrews 12:5-11)

Are you wishing and praying blessing for people in '07?

Good. Praying for blessing means you are praying they will be broken and poor (Matthew 5:3), that they might truly cling to F/S/HS for their every breath.

Good. That means you are praying people will mourn (Matthew 5:4), for through that comes the comfort of the Holy Spirit, rather than the comfort of air conditioning, cable tv and a lounge couch.

Good. That means you are praying people get screwed (Matthew 5:6), so that they might passionately cling to God for mercy and life, instead of living as if they are entitled to pothole-free living, and/or being treated fairly and nicely (and, of course, abundantly) as "children of God".

Your wishes mean people might actually begin to grow up some this next year (James 1).

Oh. You didn't mean it like that...

You mean it in a "God, make life a fluffy cream puff" kind of way.

Boy, have you got a lot to learn.

It's going to take a good bit of deprogramming and detoxing from the Kool Aid you have unknowingly ingested, fed to you by American Churchdom and American culture.

the resume is not enough

A good friend of mine recently said "the Word of God is not the starting point for Christians, it is EVERY point for Christians".

In the conversation we were having, I mentioned the bible introduces me to God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, but that is not the end-all to knowing them, rather it is simply the beginning.

The bible introduces each of them, talks about God's nature and His power, and gives me some stories of some of God's folks between two and five thousand years ago.

That's a good starting point for me.

The bible is God's resume.

Here's my name, here's my background, here's my qualifications, here's my experience, here are my accomplishments, and a fractional smidgeon about me perhaps by listing a few hobbies or other idiosyncracies.

Think about any resume you've ever created.

You wrote something to encapsulate yourself and give people a basic idea of who you are. You did this with the hope you would be invited to be teammates together.

Let's say they brought you on as a teammate. They did so based on your resume, your capability to be a teammate who would be contributing toward whatever they are doing.

But it wasn't the resume alone, was it?

People do not become teammates based solely on the face value of what is on paper. In this society there is always at least one interview with multiple people, or multiple interviews with various folks.

What's on paper alone does not encapsulate you. They would embrace you based not only on your resume but also from meeting you, probing deeper, getting a sense or feel about you beyond what's in black and white.

Let's say that went well enough and the invitation for teaming together was consummated.

In addition to your qualifications, skills, work, etc, they would also get to know you. They would get to know your personality, the you that your resume could never fully describe even if it was ten pages. (which is unheard of in terms of resume length. Most folks strictly want a one page resume, two pages absolute tops.)

The resume is but a snapshot.

Knowing the full you would entail spending time with you, getting to know your personality, your temperament, your sense of humor (if any), your tendencies.

They would get to know what you do when various types of things occur while you are teammates.

They would see what you do when pressure and stress abound. What you do when unexpected crisis pops up out of nowhere. What you do when things are slow.

Those who hired you would get to know you so much deeper and so far beyond what was on the original resume they read about you.

It's the same with God.

The bible is His resume. It provides us a brief summary of F/S/HS, but it in no way characterizes all of God.

If we and He join up as teammates, we get to know Him beyond the qualifications and experiences listed on His resume.

We come to see what He does when pressure and stress abound. We get to know His personality. What He does when things go well. We get to know His sense of humor. What He does when unexpected crisis pops out of nowhere. What He does when things are slow.

From interactions and dialogue and going through all manner of situations, we can know God so much more than the description in black and white words on paper.

The resume is but a snapshot. It is only a beginning.

two inescapable things

I'm closing in on two years in a barren, desolate, hell of a wilderness in life, and there are two things which the Body just cannot help but continue to pound me about:

(1) is my life blessed yet?

(2) what kind of fruit am I bearing for God/for the Kingdom/for the Church during all this?

To the first question, I just this last week received (another) email from someone asking "are things any better?"

This makes as much sense as the small group people I used to hang with EVERY week asking "so how is x? has anything with y changed?"

Um, fucking "no". Don't you think if the season in my life had changed there's a slight chance I would have called you all and spread the good news? Don't you think I'd have unspeakable joy radiating around my being and overflowing from within me, and you would have known when you walked in the door that something was up?

But alas, since you did not get a Master's degree in Nonverbal Communication, I should cut you slack and not think you an idiot for those months of pouring salt in my fucking wounds week in week out.

I'm so sorry. Yeah, that's all on me. I'm a jerk. How dare me to think you would have two brain cells to rub together and have a clue based on my nonverbals.

And here's another thing I'm sure I am to apologize about. Week in week out you would sometimes ask me how I was doing (aside from asking about circumstances).

I'm sorry I answered "not good, honestly", "up and down" or "bittersweet" when you would ask. Other times I would shrug my shoulders and say "ehhh".

If I felt like making you laugh I would say "partly cloudy" or "mostly cloudy". That always made you chuckle.

I'd follow that up by saying "partly cloudy is about as good as it ever gets". More truthfulness to let you know things are just not happy clappy...still.

I am so sorry I was not and still am not Mr. Sunshine for you.

I used to think that you wanted things to be better for me because you loved me or "cared", but as time wore on I could see that it was really because you were tired of hearing me be truthful. Your patience wore thin. You wanted me to say "fine" or "blessed" like everyone else in church expresses when asked how they're doing.

You had no interest in really getting down in the nasty, nitty gritty shithole of life with a brother.

Don't think I didn't see your frustration and impatience building up about me over time. It was undeniably obvious. You tried to keep that "positive" Christian smile on your face, but it was so easy to see right through that.

I am so sorry that God does not operate on YOUR timeframe for things.

And do you think for one second that I want this going on any more than you do?

All you had to do was hear about it. I'm the one who is living it. I guaran-damn-tee you my anguish trumps your compassion by, oh, about umpteen fucking kazillion trillion, conservatively speaking.

And I know you wouldn't want to be in my shoes, because you were kind enough to say so much.

"I can't imagine..."

"There's no way I could ever do that."

"Brother, I don't envy you."

"God bless you, brother."

Etcetera.

There were other times I saw it in your expressions.

When I told you I have literally gone through the exact same emotions as Abraham when he took Isaac up on the mountain, being willing to sacrifice on the altar (not figuratively but literally), you had a blank stare.

I saw what you were thinking, you didn't have to say it. And I'm okay with that. Our stories are not identical, and I don't expect mine to become yours.

I know telling you that nudged you to ponder some things you'd not thought about. That wasn't why I told you, but that was good fruit. In addition to why I told you, it also prodded you to weigh some things you've never weighed before: about God, about faith, about life, about treasure, about a host of things.

So to get back to your question, no, my life is still not "blessed" (as you define blessing).

See, your "faith" revolves around the idea that God primarily exists to fill the potholes and level the speedbumps that come along in life.

His job, His duty is to make everything smooth again. Life doesn't go flawlessly, and when it doesn't God, You are to make things comfy again, right away. According to us.

I just don't see this as the primary charge of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Don't see it as the centric premise of the religion.

I used to be amazed in small group to hear how everyone's prayer requests were being answered by God in one week, two weeks, sometimes six weeks.

Amazing. Truly. I am glad for all of you. Seriously.

Oh, and also toward the end of each time we were together we would go around the circle and everyone (except me) would talk about how close to perfect their week was.

It was so obvious that was the goal. When someone would have a week with no potholes or speed bumps, oh how the smiles beamed across the faces, and oh how the coos and ahh's resounded from the peanut gallery.

I never had a week like that. I'm sorry.

Actually, let me apologize on God's behalf, because a year and a half ago I made a grave mistake.

I went to God and said "I want to get on Your page. I want to be a part of what You are doing in all this."

Huge mistake, if you know what I mean.

You see, pretty much everywhere in Churchianity today what is being preached, taught and embraced goes something like this:

"Invite Jesus into your life"
"Invite Jesus into your heart"
"God wants to bless your ______" (job, marriage, finances, life, relationships, etc)

I did the opposite of this.

You see, I told God I wanted to be a part of HIS life. I wanted to come into HIS heart.

I wanted to become a part of what He is doing--not ask Him to come observe or be a part of what...I am doing.

And you see, friends, when I did this I cut off the limb I was sitting on.

I hungered for God to help me in my circumstances.

Yet when I told Him I wanted to get on His page, and be a part of what He is doing, that meant I would also be embracing His timeframe and His timetable for things.

When God is given the freedom by His children to do things His way, He doesn't operate on chronological time. Watches and clocks are put away when we give God this liberty.

And that really sucks for those who want my life to be better today, next week, next month.

Trust me, it doesn't suck nearly as much for you as it does for me. At the same time, there are riches and treasure in so doing that many who restrict God to be nothing more than their Great Fixer will never know.

Above the sucking, I hope you can nibble on the idea that when we become part of what Father, Son and Holy Spirit are doing (instead of the other way around), we give Them tremendous freedom.

Doing so removes Them from stuff like "when are You going to do this", when are You going to do that, when are You going to answer this prayer, when are You going to bring that about, blah blah blah. (Which seems to be how most of the prayers I hear are phrased.)

It is such a breath of fresh air for God when He is freed from our incessant toe-tapping, wrist-staring and request-making. When He's allowed to just be, instead of ten-hut to our demands, er, commands, er, "prayer requests".

Have we ever paused to ponder that God (tangibly, not figuratively) has a life, just like we do? What is it?

What is God's life? Would we venture to be a part of what He is up to?

Might we desire to become part of His heart, instead of asking Him to be in ours? What would that be like?

It hasn't been my experience that doing so predicates a pleasant, bubbly or circumstantially blessed life. It will test your mettle. Boy howdy, will it.

Yet you'll know you're a true son instead of a bastardized one (Hebrews 12, verses 5-13).

Embarking this way does not engender you toward bliss, friend.

You'll see facets of God you have not heard (and will not ever hear) in a brick and mortar church.

(It would lead to membership depletion, and churches with mortgages can't afford that. It's all about the memberships and numbers, baby.)

Enough writing for now. More on the second question, fruit basket turnover, later...

daily

here it comes

tick tock

not everyone

with their blinker on is turning.

Not everyone with their brake lights on is stopping.

obsessed

obsessed with peace
obsessed with growth
obsessed with success
obsessed with community
obsessed with appearance
obsessed with goodwill
obsessed with bridges
obsessed with praise
obsessed with numbers
obsessed with hindsight
obsessed with discussion
obsessed with meaning
obsessed with drama
obsessed with love
obsessed with opinion
obsessed with minutiae
obsessed with irrelevance

To hell with your obsessions.

new church names II

The Sin Management Church

Sin Management churches are the breeding ground for should’s and shouldn’ts lists, even though the “do this, don’t do that” Law was supposed to have been replaced by the New Testament.

Be forewarned, there are innumerable invisible shackles awaiting you in Sin Management churches. You’ll get the “love treatment” when you first go there, but sometime (probably within a year) the “loving” suggestions of how you are to behave, act, respond, talk and live become velvet-laden expectations.

You’re supposed to become what they expect you to be, and they will be more willing to help you, via programs and groups of people who are already what you are supposed to be.

But wait. In addition to the invisible shackles, you need to know about the gold-plated shackles and suffocating weights which also await you.

The marketing of these life-binding and life-sucking prison items is very slick.

They are marketed to you as ways to “strengthen your walk with Christ”, “empower you in Christ”, “minister to your life needs”, give you a way to “plug in”, “get connected” and/or “serve”.

This is probably why you honestly came to church in the first place, but understand the word “marketing” is often just another word for lying. And churches market just as fervently as the world does. In some cases moreso.

Some of these church marketing options offered to “strengthen you in Christ” are: accountability groups (aka “A-Teams”), cell/small groups, men’s prayer breakfast, women’s ministry…the list is extensive.

Suggestive, overt and implied pressures await, to at first suggest then later tell you how to behave, act, talk and be as a “Christian”.

This is dangerous stuff, and can be amplified if you didn’t grow up as Joe or Suzy Goody-Twoshoes. You’ll get exploited by following their lead, then when your heart begins to stir (and you have legitimate questions about the Kool Aid you drank) the scales will fall from your eyes and you’ll see the shackles.

Another interesting aspect of Sin Management churches is their whole premise of living.

SM churches seem to be as/more focused on guarding, avoiding, eliminating, censoring and managing than they are about living.

A good portion of their time and mental energy is preoccupied as to what Christians should not be doing rather than what to be doing.

What words are in a person’s vocabulary, what types of movies are acceptable for a Christian to see, what types of books should(n’t) be read, etc. It’s ridiculous.

I ran across a message board recently which had over 80 posts revolving around the appropiateness of Christians using the word “suck”.

I also know people who have been told they are going to hell because they smoke cigarettes.

Yeah, these are two great examples of Sin Management bullshit.

Said with a smile on their face, you are to come under the 8000 pounds of pressure being exerted by their reddened thumb…in the loving name of Jesus, of course.

Buyer beware.


The We're Scriptural Church

The bible is a good book. It’s a starting point. Unfortunately, it’s seen as the end-all by a good number of folks.

They center their entire life around “being scriptural” or “living scripturally”. There is often an air of pride when they talk about their lives “lining up with Scripture”.

The caveat to this is life extends way beyond scripture. I have heard of people and churches who say “I will speak where the Bible speaks, and be silent where the Bible is silent.”

Good. That means the rest of us can live and be about God’s business without hesitating to step because we first have to go see what the bible says about it.

When Jesus sent disciples out to publish the Kingdom, how “scriptural” did He tell them to be? How “scriptural” was Philip when he spoke with the Ethiopian treasurer? How do you scripturally go about buying a car, you scripture-abiding Christians?

This is not dissing the bible. There’s good stuff in it. It’s rather the observation embracing or following bible writings is but one part of following Jesus. You won’t hear anything about the other aspects at a We’re Scriptural church, and it’s not a very good or competent position to be in when life extends beyond the limited bounds of scripture.


The Take A Stand Church

This is really a strange strain of church to come along in the last twenty years. Folks at these churches have retracted to the disposition of the crusaders centuries ago.

For some reason they believe Christians are to slug it out with others. Since murdering and genocide are not kosher or as get-away-withable as in the days of the crusades, today's crusaders are reduced to engage in a war of words. And boy do they.

They are dripping-faucet debaters, wasting time antagonizing those not of their belief set. They commonly embrace an in-yo-face, oh-yeah-? disposition when tangling in fruitless arguments over topics they think make a heap of dung to God (but do not).

They think they are earning medals and crown jewels by how well they "defend the faith". Ironically, defending the faith is not mentioned anywhere in the bible.

It's really interesting, likewise, that Jesus is not about defending anything either. The gospels are not filled with debate transcripts. They're filled with stories of Jesus healing the sick and driving out evil spirits. Funny how the very things He does is what He commissions Followers to do.

Don't be deceived by these who think the Gospel subsists of words, debates and arguments.


The Integrity Church

The Love Church

Praise & Worship IS the Gospel Church

The CNN/USA Today/Microwave Church

The Mercy Church

The Answer Church

The Hip/Relevant Church

The Jesus Elixir Church

The Principle/Code Church

The Gerber Church

And last, but not least, as if you had any doubt...

The Cussing Church