the lamb and the shepherd

Once upon a time there lived a lamb. The lamb was in many ways like other lambs, yet in other regards was different. The lamb grew up as lambs do, taking other lambs and the shepherds of the field as they were, because (of course) this was what the lamb knew. It didn't know any different than what had been around it.

And then, over time, something took place in the lamb. Somehow, and none of us really know how, the lamb was able to see its growings up and its surroundings in a different light, as they really were. This was a good thing, though some (perhaps even many) would not view this as so.

The lamb, who for so long had taken and accepted lambs and shepherds as they were, began to see that lambs and shepherds were not as they appeared to be. They were not as genuine as they gave themselves off to be. They were not as true as they thought themselves to be. They did not love as they proclaimed to love. The lamb saw that, sadly, love was a lip-service word which rolled off the tongues yet in reality had no sustenance with it.

The lamb took this all in, and as turns would have it became what many would say is skittish.

There also, in this same time, lived a shepherd. This shepherd was a good shepherd, yet as fate strangely had it had only ever been around mostly bad and black sheep. The shepherd had endured through this lot, though not very well at all.

One day, as it was, the lamb and this shepherd crossed paths.

It was an interesting acquaintance, for the lamb was skittish and the shepherd had the exclusively bad history with sheep. Even despite what they both had lived, the lamb and the sheep nonetheless came together.

Their time together was good, yet at the same time there was something not quite settled. Whether this was of the lamb or the shepherd no one knows, and it doesn't really matter. Let it simply be said that in light of the goodness of the lamb and shepherd experiencing each other that there was an underlying coarseness that permeated the air.

After some time of being together, despite the goodness that was taking place, the lamb told the shepherd it was going away. The lamb was endeared to this shepherd, yet something about the coarseness took its toll on the lamb. The lamb told the shepherd it was going to another pasture for a bit, and did.

And so the two were apart. Every once in awhile the shepherd would call out to the lamb. The lamb, in the neighboring pasture, could hear the shepherd but did not reply. The lamb missed the shepherd, yet the lamb knew that the time was not yet right to return.

After some bit of time, the shepherd called out again as had occasionally been done. The lamb, this time, replied. The lamb came back from the neighboring pasture to the shepherd.

Something was noticeably different.

The coarseness was gone.

For however things transpire, there was a new dawning for the shepherd and the lamb. A new air over this pasture, and in this new air the shepherd and the lamb came together.

And here is the most difficult part of this account, for here is where human words fail, miserably, to adequately convey what took place for the shepherd and the lamb.

Some would call it good. Others would call it beautiful, others magical. Still others would call it heaven. Heaven because of how much good and healing and Life was now taking place.

The lamb's skittishness, well founded because of the past, was gone. The lamb gave itself to the shepherd with total abandonment. This was not the first time the lamb had been around a good shepherd, yet it had been so so long. So much since the previous good shepherd had been bad, and the lamb had, realistically, given up hope of ever being with a good shepherd again. To be here now, this was just so so good for the lamb.

The shepherd, who had only been around black sheep until now, flourished. After all the years and years of anguish and self-doubt, the shepherd now, finally, was tasting what it was like to be a good shepherd with a good sheep. As they spent time together as shepherd and lamb, the knots and warpings and entanglements, which had seized and gripped and lambasted the shepherd mercilessly for so long, became undone.

It was beautiful. It was heaven. It was Life. The mutual freedom and healing taking place between them was amazing.

One day the lamb was grazing in the plentiful pasture the shepherd provided for it when the shepherd approached. The shepherd knelt down next to the lamb, as was customary and routine for the shepherd to do.

Often the shepherd would kneel down and talk gently to the lamb. Other times the shepherd would kneel and stroke the lamb's wool. Sometimes the shepherd would do both, stroke gently and talk soothingly. Sometimes the shepherd would kneel down, wrap arms around the lamb and carry it over to the fresh spring brook for a crisp and filling drink of water.

On this day, the shepherd bent down as usual. The lamb didn't know what the shepherd would do, yet knew that it was always good. Part of the beauty between the shepherd and the lamb was the suspense of not knowing what was in store, yet the certainty of knowing that whatever was forthcoming was something good.

When the shepherd bent down to the lamb this day, the lamb saw the shepherd make a motion not seen before. This did not startle the lamb for the shepherd was good, and whatever the shepherd did was good.

Suddenly the lamb felt a fiery pain race across its neck from right to left. This startled the lamb, and as it looked down it saw mats of blood and hair already clumping together upon its wool. Beyond this was also blood already forming a pool on the ground. How so much blood could already be out of the lamb and all over everything was beyond comprehension.

The lamb began to raise its glance to the shepherd, but the lamb was already beginning to black out. There was no allowance in this flash of time. No accommodation for shock, for the lamb was already going.

In the final instant, through blood spurting up into the air, the lamb could barely make out the shepherd through the wall of red. The shepherd had stood up and was walking away. As things for the lamb quickened, the shepherd walking briskly and without so much as looking the lamb in the eye, mumbled over the shoulder "I'm not who you think I am."

Then everything, for the lamb, went completely and utterly black.