the scene of an accident

I'm at a crossroads intersection right now. A rather ugly one. Not pretty at all.

The intersection of this crossroads is filled with two mauled vehicles which are in the immediate aftermath of a head-on collision. Snarled and tangled metal. Smoke still rising from the busted hoses and the heat. It's quite unbecoming. The kind of accident scene that makes you wince your teeth and say a quick arrow prayer.

There is a third vehicle near the intersection. It's indeterminable if that vehicle was actually involved in the accident or just happened to be there when things went down.

I'm not sure. That's why I'm here at the scene in the first place. I was involved in this accident, but because of the shock of it I can't make sense of what actually happened.

There's a lot of pain to think clearly. My recall is shot.

All I know is the collision was very violent. I was just going along (or so I thought) when wham! it happened.

I have hurt. I've bled. More internal injuries than anything else. Particularly pain in the heart and head region.

I know I'm not the same as I was before. And I will never be the same as I was before.

And I'm okay with that. (Long story, but could be no truer.)

Regardless, I am at the scene to try and unravel the accident. Looking for the "why/what" here is not a quest for knowledge in the conventional sense.

No, I don't have any interest in proving or pursuing anything I learn from the accident. I just want to know if there were any witnesses to the accident. Knowing what happened will help me digest all this better, and as far as I know that is what I am looking for.

So I can learn from it, and hopefully it not happen again.

As far as my conscious mind can tell, I think there might be some comfort from knowing what went wrong that led to the accident.

I really don't care who forgot to yield or who was over the yellow line or any of that. That doesn't matter to me, I don't think. I just want to know what happened.

One of the vehicles involved is Faith.

I'm familiar with the Faith models and descriptions over the years: things hoped for Model, the evidence of things unseen Model, etc. There are many Models of faith. You can read about 'em, hear about 'em a lot of places.

That third vehicle I mentioned earlier? Belief.

Belief is a "sleeper" vehicle.

Belief doesn't get great press. It gets good press, but not superb press as it probably should.

Belief isn't marketed very well. There is a whole lot more "under the hood" of Belief than it has always been credited with.

Belief seems to be mysterious, in the sense that it's a tremendous thing. Most people have always really liked Belief. Many have desired it. Many have pursued it.

But what makes it mysterious is there don't seem to be as many Belief models on the road as there should be (based on the number of people who would really like to have it. Or who claim to have it. Or who say it's in their driveway).

Well, the point here is not to talk about Belief statistically, so let's get back to the accident. Mind wandering is one of the after effects of this event. Forgive me.

So Faith was one vehicle involved (with Belief nearby, also at the scene, but not involved in the main collision).

The other vehicle, coming from a completely different angle to the intersection? Attitude.

Attitude is an interesting vehicle. Everyone seems to like Attitude. It gets tremendously great press. Superb press. In the U.S., Attitude gets more marketing than Belief for sure. As much or maybe even more press than Faith. That's debatable.

Attitude is widely heralded as "The" vehicle to have. It's marketed more than Faith in a lot of places. More people probably own an Attitude than own Faith or Belief (in the U.S. at least).

The thing is, EVERYONE claims to own an Attitude (positive model) whether one is in their driveway or not. Anyone who does not have a (positive) Attitude is pretty much a social outcast (and that's both within and out the Body).

I mean, not having a (positive model) Attitude is less likely than someone not having a kitchen sink or a light switch in their residence.

No one publicly would EVER admit to not having a (positive) Attitude. Not everyone has one, but horror the thought of admitting so.

Come to think of it, it's hard to find many folks in the U.S. who would never claim to be a two-vehicle person.

Everyone, literally, claims to have an Attitude (which they check the oil on and service regularly, thus making sure it is a Positive model), and the overwhelming majority of folks also claim to have Faith in their driveway too (which they maintenance as well).

(Aside: It's amazing when people talk to each other about their vehicles [Attitude, Faith and/or Belief] the vehicles are always in perfect running condition, never break down, never have high mileage, are always running beautifully, never in for repairs, always just had the oil changed, always have fresh tires, air conditioning is always fine, brakes never squeak, etc. A faulty or imperfect vehicle in any way, shape or form in the U.S. is utterly unacceptable.)

Again, I've drifted from discussing the accident scene. Maybe it helps to discuss the background of these various vehicles, to understand the accident scene and this whole thing...

So, as mentioned, Belief is at the scene, but over to the side. It's common to find a Belief vehicle nearby wherever a Faith model is.

You might even say Faith and Belief come in motorcycle models. They can zip you around faster, make things happen quicker, get you places rapidly. (They're marketed an awful lot like this.)

Heck, maybe Belief is one of those fancy side-cars that attaches to a Faith motorcycle.

Or is it the other way around?

I don't know anymore. I used to have better grasp of what was what...before the accident.

The accident wiped out a lot of things I used to think I knew. Things about vehicles and intersections and travel, that I have no clue on anymore. I got jarred really hard, and I'm having to relearn most things.

I say most because there is one thing that is sure. There is a galvanized solid structure down in my core, which helps me digest new information and re-learning material that others help me with.

I never sensed it as strongly within me before the accident, but it is unmistakably there now. I've heard some people refer to it as Truth.

When helpful folks share things about vehicles and directions and such with me, Truth snaps to attention.

Some things the helpful folks say magnetizes straight to it. Solid lock. Yep.

Other things the helpful folks say is opposed like an anti-magnet. it doesn't resonate with the foundation core at all. No offense, it just doesn't.

And yet other things the helpful folks say hovers in mid-air. The foundational Truth pole is digesting them still. There's no rush, no committee. Just patient pondering. I'm not looking to write a book or create an atlas.

Just wanting to relearn enough of what is to be guided through the maze without (hopefully) another horrific, numbing, damaging, jarring collision.

I say that because I was involved in the accident. I was behind the wheel. And so how I drive, how I maneuver is one of the puzzle pieces that led to the accident. Whether it was not paying attention, or driving where I wasn't supposed to, or ignoring traffic signs, I ended up in a horrifying wreck.

The worst possible wreck that can happen without physically dying.

It happened at the corner of Life and Sin streets.

I've somehow managed to stumble out of the wreckage alive. I was spared. Literally. In my honest opinion I shouldn't have been, but I was. For some reason mercy was granted over justice.

Bruised, bleeding, hurting. In shock, numb.

Yet breathing.

Life is driving. I have no option to not drive anymore. I'm scared, injured. Hesitant.

And I've learned a big lesson. I may have forgotten a lot, but some things leading up to the accident I know not to do. Some risks aren't worth the excitement. Some dangers aren't worth the thrill.

I made it through many times unscathed, by the skin of my teeth. Now that I've gone through this, I have no interest in going back to those places again.

The crazy thing is, a lot of people, that's all they can talk about--the place I've been and don't want to go back to.

What's that old saying, "it's always fun(ny) til someone gets hurt"?

Well I've been hurt, so no thanks. Go on with the thrill ride. I can do without those kind of thrills.

I pray you don't wreck like I did. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

Oh yeah, If you've got any info on the vehicles, or the intersection, or how that all works together, I'm all ears.