I ran across a song this weekend that I hadn't heard in a while.
Upon listening to it and looking up the lyrics, it caused some heavy thinking about the stark contrast between the real life shit that people deal with...compared to the "let's lift our hearts up as a banner of sweet fragrance unto the Lord" stuff.
Below is real life for some people who live outside the Pat Boone, sweet, warm cocoon of Churchianity.
And the sad thing is that Churchianity is marketed as "the answer", for both the people below as well as the millions who live somewhere else along the spectrum.
"We've all seen a man at the liquor store beggin' for your change
The hair on his face is dirty, dread-locked, and full of mange
He asks the man for what he could spare, with shame in his eyes
"Get a job you fucking slob," is all he replied
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues
Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom who said he was in love
He said, "Don't worry about a thing baby doll,
I'm the man you've been dreaming of."
But 3 months later he say he won't date her or return her calls
And she swears, "God damn, If find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls."
then she heads for the clinic and
she gets some static walking through the door
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner
and they call her a whore
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
'cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose
I've seen a rich man beg
I've seen a good man sin
I've seen a tough man cry
I've seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I've heard an honest man lie
I've seen the good side of bad
And the downside of up
And everything between
I've licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
And smoked the finest green
I've stroked the daddies dimes at least a couple of times
before I broke they heart
You know where it ends, yo, it usually depends on where you start
this kid named Max
He used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs
He liked to hang out late
get shit-faced and keep the pace with thugs
Until late one night there was a big gun fight and Max lost his head
He pulled out his chrome .45, talked some shit, and wound up dead
Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of this pain
You know it crumbles that way
at least that's what they say when you play the game
God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose"
6 comments:
Dude, I got to tell you something, and don't take this the wrong way, but I think you would be far less pissed off if you didn't live in the South. That mix of sacred and secular down there...I gotta say, it would irritate the crap out of me. There's just a way that the southern evangelical is annoying and in your face...I hope you aren't offended. But you really don't get too many yankees all in your face about spirituality. (you have to actually try to find them, though they do exist...ironically the ones I have known had southern accents even though they lived in Newark their whole lives) Northernors are....reserved. That isn't necessarily good, but we leave people alone which means we are all sorts of disconnected and self serving.
I was looking at that truck on your other site, all I could think was "only in the South". Churchiousity has a special flavor down there. Most Northernors I know don't even believe in God...well except if someone dies. Northernors are mostly reserved, which is another word for tepid and "I don't really give a crap about you". (myself included)I have to remind myself to be more radical and not just go to church because that's what nice people do. So I hope I insulted everyone equally. Don't get discouraged ...and stay away from the Pat Boone cacoon. Do you know he actually released an album called Ready to Rock...who rocks out to Pat Boone? Well, anyway, I'll go back and insult people at my blog now. You take care man.
thanks for stopping by, bb.
My being pissed off has nothing to do with my location.
I surf the blogosphere and see "Christian" websites from all over: churches from all over, Christian 'social cause' sites from all over, megachurch sites from all over, small church sites from all over, generic Christian sites from all over, "hip"/current Christian "movement" sites, you name it.
The bullshit never ceases.
No one has been in my face about anything. The brunt of bullshit I have personally experienced stems from one of two things: (1) my deciding to "open up" at a small/cell group I formerly went to, (2) people who were congenial acquaintances from the church I formerly went to asking "how are things going", and my being a stupid enough ass to actually shed a little light and their going into total annoyance and religious spirit mode.
I travel quite a bit on the road, and upon seeing all kinds of ridiculous church marquee messages (which I blogged about some months ago, and their simplistic/stupid/eclectic messages continue to contribute to the overall wtf-are-Christians-doing sentiment).
As for Pat Boone, well, I don't know what to say. That's a 25-30 year old comment I made. The last time I remember Pat Boone was when I was a kid, saw him on tv wearing white shoes and a leisure suit and singing Lawrence-Welkish type pop songs with a shit-eatin' grin on his face. He seemed like a 70's version of a PMA performer. Songs with pansy-bear, giddy words and a hollow positive entertainer smile to boot.
What he's done since the 70's I don't know and couldn't care less, heh heh. That was a faint recollection from yesteryear...done without research or any update. Guess I brought that one on myself.
As for the truck, that is an anomaly I guarantee you. There may not be a single one of those up North, but there are probably the same number of vehicles like that down here as there are the number of friendly people up there. (heh heh, jk....or maybe not!)
Quick, funny side note. I had a roommate in college from Maine. He and I talked about Southern friendliness on occasion.
him: "I was standing in line at the grocery store, and this lady in line just started talking to me."
me: "right"
him: "people up North don't do that."
me: "yeah. Which makes me wonder, how does a person up north ever become friends with another human being? No one talks to anyone else, so how do you ever find/make a friend? Much less friends, plural?"
His answer was as stifled and half-ass as all the Christian b.s. I've heard nonstop over the past year and a half, which means he really didn't know.
Getting back to the response to your post, after a long and winding side bar, not only has no one been in my face about anything, nor will they be.
Until last summer, I had lived a very private life for many years. That was the result of being strafed and wrongfully accused by some church folks years ago. I became very private as a result of that. No one knew my business.
Last summer, as a result of some harrowing shit, I decided to go to a small/cell group and unload. It was cool at first, but within a few months they began to slop on the cliches. Then, not long following that, they began to show disapproval of my transparent, blunt and sometimes raw expressions of things.
So I've said fuck it. I'm not going to put my pearls before swine anymore. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
I've now been roasted, tarred-and-feathered by church people twice.
This is the truth: they ABSOLUTELY mean well. The folks I opened up to this last time are very compassionate people. Their hearts are large. They're good folks.
But the church-, society- and self-induced "advice", "ministry", "encouragement" and attempted "fixing" has left me literally screaming and pulling my hair out.
I blogged a few months ago, I think, that I went to God and asked "do You really want me to be emotionally masochistic just so I'm not 'forsaking the assembling of yourselves together'"?
When I said that I welcomed whatever He said in response. If He said "yes" then I would bite the bullet and go.
Interestingly, neither did He say "no".
The sense I got from the non-response is that He is soembarrassed by how people claiming His name have trampled my heart that He simply had nothing to say.
But that's cool. He knows I am open to His nudging, and I'll even do things He says when I don't prefer to. So if/when He gives the ol' nudge-er-ooski, no problem. Sure.
In closing, here's the thing. I do not bitch just to bitch. This continued stream of saying "come on, guys" (which I don't say in a sugar-coated way) would cease...except for the fact that I continue to come across, see, read and run into bullshit material and people.
This being said, there are about four people on this entire earth who break the mold of what I see permeating the body of Jesus. Their compassion, their salve, their words are of God. They get it.
They don't speak first and then think later. They don't blab the latest cutesy Christian slogans and then give me some "did that help? yeah? yeah?" stupid ass look.
I write here what I experience, and what is in my heart. My experiences for some reason continue to raise the ol' eyebrows, and my heart has a lot of poison still in it.
It angers me that collectively we don't give a shit why those not in our "fold" see us as a bunch of unrelatables who are selling surreality.
Well, I've probably tired your eyes by the length of this reply. Thanks again for stopping by.
Northerners don't have friends...that's why they are so pissed off. They are friends with the people they know from forever ago and the people in their family and that's good enough because they don't really have time for relationships anyway. I am not this way really, unless I get in one of my apathetic states of mind, and then I could care less about anybody.
Yeah that stuff with church really sucks. I have had that effect on people too. I just made myself go anyway...and I mostly just cried when I got home and prayed for smitings and pissed and moaned and whined and kept going till i found one that I don't hate. I heard all the Jobs friends crap I could stomach. I just went to different places until I found people who actually ask the "how are you?" question and really want to know.
I have found that. Don't get me wrong, my church gets hung up on minutia...and this bothers me. But I feel his love there and I hear him speak. They have a lot of opinions I disagree with, but I have been to churches I agree with that don't have the love part right. when i am with my brothers who don't eat pork, I don't eat prok. Do I think it's a sin? No but they do and I love them. So I don't eat the pork.
You are hurt by what happened. If you don't want to go to church, don't go.
Nice, good wholesome folks are afraid of anger. Anger is a variable. It must be supressed and redressed into something sweet and nice and good like well meaning advice. When I was five years old, I asked God to make me die so I could get away from all the turmoil and insanity that was my life...what does church have to say about that? Forgive, love, don't live in the past..make lemonade.etc...There is no room for anger.
Not so says Jesus. Jesus got very angry. He was at times, a little scary. He had a lot of power and when he got mad things shriveled up and died...immediately. I wish I could do that sometimes. We are to be immitators of Christ and I think he gives us permission to be mad when we are faced with evil.
My grandma is this helpless 80 year old woman who left her home state just to be closer to me and my mom. I am not speaking to her right now. She has done a lot of damage to me and the relationships in my life. If given the chances she is always starting trouble and has ruined every major holiday with some violent and insane outburst. You do not know how much guilt crap I get for not talking to her. But I asked God what he wants and I said I will do it even if I hate it...what I got is that I need to guard my heart. Staying away as far as I can see is an act of mercy because if she were to experience my anger, it would curl her hair and I don't need to sin like that. If she is going to give me more to forgive with each interaction, I don't need to tax my spirituality like that. I don't go out of my way to ignore her, but I don't voluntarily speak to her. She lives next door to my mom and I don't tell my kids to stay away from her, but I just keep my distance. That is what I need to do right now. I don't know if it's right or if that is the forever solution, but that is what I can handle right now. You do what you can handle.
I really do feel God rewarded my faith after all the years of crap and BS. My church has really evolved into a pretty real place and it's really cool to feel this sense of connectedness after years of despair and lonliness and rejection. It's not perfect, but it's a pretty safe place and sometimes I get a slight sense of how heaven must be while I am there.
Church is often compared to a woman in scripture...sometimes a whore even. Real women get b.o. and hairy legs...they are utterly imperfect. You just have to find one that you don't want to kill ater a year or two. It's the same way with church. Well not the hairy legs and the b.o...unless you're at an Amish church.
I don't think you need to go right now, but I hope you won't give up on it...Again with the North though, we are notorious for anger and cynicism...we don't really do cheerful and uplifting...if you tell me we are as positive and cheery as our southern counterparts, I will be shocked. I can't imagine we are as "joy of the Lord ish" as southerners. I can't picture anyone from new Jersey saying they are full of the Joy of the Lord, with the exception of those folks from Newark and everyone thought they were insane.
My friend applied for a job with Focus on the Family. One of the interview questions was whether he ever employed cynicism and sarcasm in his communication with others...his response was "I'm from New Jersey." that's like asking him if he breathes. He didn't get the job.
We Northerners have two speeds zoned and annoyed. Being cheerful takes effort and we have to save our energy for the traffic.
Remember that the church is made for "unrelatables" and maybe your mission is reminding them of that. To seek and save the lost...I remember something about that I read somewhere.
thankfully I haven't heard many Job's friends comments. This place I have gone to was like what you have found--the folks are genuine, they really do want to know how one is doing when they ask.
As mentioned, their hearts are large, but it's everything said after "how are you doing" that I can't stomach. You know, all the advice and attempts to make me or things "better".
S-E made a really good point that hit home on a comment the other day. He talked about "when I can't remember step # 5 in the 10 steps to get better".
That's a huge thing going on. It seems, in my experience, that the entire Body is obsessed with "fixing" others' situations, doing what they can in their human ways and human wisdom to make things better, improve others' lives, "fix" me, you. Get us to "think about the good things", and all that other shit.
They think they are supposed to "work" on me.
Funny, when I spend time with God He isn't obsessed with my outward appearance. He's at a lot deeper than that. He's about what's going on in my spirit.
He's concerned with my heart, not my face of the moment.
These other folk want Romans 5 and James 1 ripped out of the Bible by the way they act and talk.
There in those areas is some very plain talk about trials and testing. It says that that stuff is what causes growth, makes us grow up (in the Way).
And the Body in general doesn't want that. The Body says that Christianity revolves around blessing. They say that if by chance I am going through a trial, that blessing is only a prayer or a "financial seed" away from reality.
When I express the ongoing trials/testing in my life, well-meaning people want to pray these circumstances out of my life asap.
They want the circumstances gone. I've heard prayers and comments about blessing, things getting better, things turning...til I'm blue in the face.
I don't want to hear it. I have a pulse from God what's going on in a big-picture sense, and to hear people pray to the contrary of what He's indicating just pisses me off.
That's part of the ire. People are living "Christian lives" by going around blabbing stuff out of their own minds, either that or just regurgitating stuff they hear from itching-ear church culture.
That's why I wish they would leave God's and Jesus' name out of what they're saying. Cause they sure as hell aren't getting what they're saying from either of Them.
Anyway, as to some other stuff you said, I likewise have someone similar to your grandmother situation. And it does tie to what can be handled, know that well.
Your comment on the interview w/ Focus on the Family does not surprise at all. Someone transparent does not fit the PMA bill. I have the wrong bible, apparently, cause in mine God is very straightforward when communicating to people. He is gentle sometimes, stern others, tongue-in-cheek others.
And to hear a "Christian" organization act as though sarcastic or tongue-in-cheek comments are some kind of unacceptable thing is par for the course.
Come up with rules heavy enough to choke a mule, but then get on the air and talk about freedom in Jesus.
Jesus is quite sarcastic in some things He says. Particularly when talking with Pharisees--people who are very educated and learned about God. Wow.
Wow! Great dialogue.
BTW, that Everlast song is classic...
Imagine a small group singing that together holding hands? Especially the part when it talks about cutting off.... Uh, nevermind. Even though I'm joking, imagine the kind of freedom in a group singing a song as honest and gritty as that. That's reality.
J330, are you sure we're not related somehow??? ;)
hey S-E, thanks for coming by, man.
I don't know about the related thing, but if I ever get too excitable about our kindredship and start singing "Kumbaya", please take the liberty to sock me in the face. heh heh!
Man, are you ever right about a group having the true freedom to sing that song. Grit is right.
Sadly, angrily, the real-life stuff in that song, which is some people's experience today, is unwelcome in Churchianity.
Just like the Focus on the Family censorship BB mentioned, to talk of filth and poverty and addiction, etc, is "acceptable" in a U.S. church mainly if it's talk of conditions like that in the Phillipines or Africa, etc.
We don't want the cold, hard skeletons in OUR country's closet being talked about or revealed. We only want people, including ourselves, to see the flag and the eagle and all the other symbolisms of self-reliant strength of this "great" (cough cough) nation.
We give lip service and patriotism and all that stuff.
For example, what are the lyrics of a famous song that most Americans would say:
"If tomorrow all the things were gone I worked for all my life,
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife,
I'd thank my lucky stars to be living here today
Cause the flag still stands for freedom, and they can't take that away"
Sounds good. That's what is on our LIPS.
What happened after Katrina last year?
Not that song. Everyone and their fucking shopping cart full of merchandise were shooting guns at rescue personnel and shooting at hospitals, but then turning around and wondering why these same rescue personnel weren't helping more.
The temporary anarchy was too overwhelming for the few officers who weren't AWOL themselves, and yet the people were going ape shit because the government tit wasn't right there in front of their mouth to suck on.
This country has got some serious shit going on, but we don't want to talk about it. And THAT is one reason we won't hear a group of folks singing the Everlast song in a church. It doesn't fit-in with the projection churches or our society want to project...just like Focus on the Family didn't want BB's friend in their organization cause they aren't bubbling PMA ooze through their veins.
That's par for us.
We suck.
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